i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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