i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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