She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my shit smells like andre
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize