This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
