i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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