Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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