My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
