The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
