i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
home. puking in laundry basket.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
