No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
