You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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