Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
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The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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