You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
