I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
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I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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