After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
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