She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
My dick has a subreddit
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
