I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
