it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
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Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
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It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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