Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
