What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
