that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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