Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
