I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
