Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
