This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
