I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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