is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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