Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
