i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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