You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
