I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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