Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
