my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Sorry about my life...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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