New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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