Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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