what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
