I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
