You're completely useless in the revolution.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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