I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
