is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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