I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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