there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize