I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
