see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
vagina is talking i cant
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
