im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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