yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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