May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
