it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
