Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
