THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
