Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
