Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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