I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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