I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
