I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
