No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
