If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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