Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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