you guys were way drunker than both of me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize